Assalamualaikum and holla!
its friday and nobody is here. i mean literally nobody here. the past two days were holiday-- so many of us took leave till friday but me. kalaula aku apply jugak cuti hari ini confirm-confirm la atok tu mengamuk dan perli-perli. his mind cannot tolerate the absence of two engineers at the same time. (sorng lagi engineer tak perlu kira, i guess his presence means nothing to anyone, seriously he is so annoying as shit,!) astaghfirullahalazim. seriously i easily get pissed if his name or figure come across my mind even just for a second!
okay, back to the topic.
i have many days to babysit my baby actually minus the weekend when my husband is working. yeah. he works on Saturday!
i get the chance myself to be so close with Umar. at this age, his charming personality comes to life when he likes me to piggyback him and whenever he wanna sleeps, he will urge me to follow him and pat him to sleep. no more Abah. previous, that was Abah's chore every single night. now no more. hahaha, cause Abah tak akan layan cakap - cakap dengan dia before sleep. But, he insists me to sing, or spell words, or crack jokes, or anything that can makes him giggle. hahaha. only then he will turn to face me and get so close to me while holding his bottle and fell asleep on his own. sometimes his tiny fingers linger around my eyes or lips or anything that he feel want to touch. sometimes, if he's too tired, it just takes 10 mins for him to doze off. my charming little boy. i wonder how he will be when its time to enter school, or when he sits for UPSR. or when he's in undergraduate studies. oh my, how is it when he has someone he likes and loves and he then has to tell me all his secret things. but, i always picture that he has siblings that so close. i dont have really wonderful siblings relationship so i hope i can plant them from the day Umar has his brother / sister. i believe, every parents has to guide and nature the positive vibes so that the will understand and help each other even the parents are gone.
Mama always be by your side even my presence no longer exist in this world. u need to know that every prayer, i always for your betterness, for you to be Hafiz, to be a true leader that lead the Ummah. and there is reason why i named you Umar. Believe in yourself that every hurdle has the solution and you must stay strong even everyone around you pull you down.
till now sayang.
|Deerland Park, Lanchang (Dec 31st, 2017)|