its like hitting me out of nowhere. it seems the word is not real but using it seems to be so cool. that is my personal view. so i just finished emceeing and its kinda thrill at first. after 20 minutes (in general) i started to get the vibe in controlling my voice, my tone, my pace and everything while reading the text. to be honest, and its obvious too that i have no talent to become the emcee. its just that the turn has come and i have to do that. if not now, sooner or later, i still NEED to be the emcee. my partner is good. i mean, he was nervous too. but for the sake of our TURN, i surrender myself with no complain. hahaha.
coming back to the office, i started to feel curious. i really don't know why i always be in an awkward feeling among the officers. they are the juniors who recently work in the branch and whenever i speak to my assistant, their friends will giggle and it seems to me that there is some story being spread behind me. sometimes, it does disturb my feeling. being my assistant, there are a lot of task to be done quickly, you need to rush, you have no proper meal time, i do so. so if i can do that, you too have to the same. we work in equivalent work load. no more, and no less. i even did myself for tasks which i prefer to do own my own.
I hope this ends quick. i really have no time to think of it deeper. the sooner it disappear, the better it will be.
i just want to stop now.
im having this menstrual cramp.
and actually it is the menstrual cramp im having. not a panic cramp!.
I am panic because i need to write this.